Where's the car we booked?

We booked a run of the mill intermediate size car listed as toyota avensis/ford mondeo/skoda octavia. When I got to London City Airport to pick it up I was offered an upgrade to a Mercedes CLS 250 for £10 per day,  I said no thanks the one we booked will be fine.  But the guy said, its only just sitting here, you may as well take it anyway.  Mmm ok!  He said I'll just go get it for you and I waited to see how flash it would be.  Up  slid this sleek 4 door black merc with mags.  The guy got out beaming and said this if from our prestige top of the line range and we hardly ever get there.  Enjoy!  

We certainly did gliding up the motirway to Bolton in luxury.  I had a look on the net ands worth $120k in Oz. Sweet.

Skating on Thin Ice

Early kickoff for our 2nd match this trip against West Brom. Stocked up on scotch eggs, cold pasties and bags of crisps at Sainsburys on our way.  Chatted on the tube to a nice man from Israel who was also going to the game and we arrived nice and early.  Carole and Ben grabbed their ritual cherry bakewell tarts from Percy Ingles and I grabbed my match day badge from Al the badge man and in we went to watch the players warming up.

An early goal from Joey Cole got us twisting and shouting but 2 late goals from the Incredible Sulk (Nicholas Anelka) just before half time turned our smiles upside down.

Two goals in 2 minutes put us back in front and had us hugging strangers but our lead only lasted 2 mins and it was back to 3-3 :-(

That's the way it stayed.  Guess you can't really complain about a 6 goal thiller although we were desperate for all 3 points and its left us and the manager skating on thin ice.

 Waitied round to get a few autographs on our program including Carlton Cole, Andy Carroll, Maiga, Rat, Diame and Adrian then it was time to head for the Tower of London where we were booked in for a session on the outdoor ice skating rink.  Took Ben a while to remember how to skate but he eventually got to pushing and gliding ok so that I could zip around myself.  Carole glided slowly around too with only the one spill.  Quick group selfie on the ice and it was time to head home. 

Stoup

Having a spicy red curry stoup (cross between soup and stew) and a pint of Hand & Racquet Bitter on a cold winters day in Wimbledon. @ The Hand & Racquet pub.

Fulham Football Clinic

Dropped Ben off at a holiday football clinic run by Fulham FC.  He has previously been to clinics run by QPR, Spurs and Crewe Alexandra.

Seemed pretty decent.  He had a lot of fun and hopefully picked up some skills along the way.

Certainly stood out in his orange boots.  Here's what they looked like by the end of the day.

Whose Boots?

Words to come

Words to come

Footballing Decisions

After the safari we had a decision to make.  Go to a local Portugese football match or go to a bar to watch West Ham play away at Man United with both games kicking off at the same time.  In the end Ben and I headed to Albufeira's Stadio Municipal to watch Immortal DC play and left Carole to cheer on West Ham.

We caught a taxi to the game and most people were in the bar before kick off so we wandered in.  We were immediately waved over to a table by some friendly British expats whose son Ben played for Immortal. We were soon eating all sorts of portugese meats and finding out about the local competition, the 5th tier of portugese football. 

We toddled out to watch the game and the standard was reasonable.  We kicked in a euro to participate in a game where you take turns at holding the pot and pass it on to the next person when there's a corner. The pot came back to us with 5 mins left and I immediately started whistling for full time and shouting to "keep it in the middle third" and we laughed and cheered when the whistle went.Ben and his little friend were taken out onto the pitch to have a kick about, one of the locals gave us an Immortal pennant and the English lad that played centre back took it into the dressing rooms and got it signed by all the players.  Nice one.

Immortal won 5-1 and after a few €1 Sagres beers to celebrate we said our goodbyes and headed home after a great day. 

Safaris Aren't Just an African Thing

We booked a half day jeep safari (€18pp) and wait out the front to see what sort of jeep will appear.  Picked up by a guy who doesn't say much as we hop into the back of a troop carrier style covered jeep and we trundle off thinking this might be a bit difficult if his English and manner aren't so good but we couldn't be more wrong.  Pretty soon he introduced himself as Tiago and explains that we are leaving the coast which is for tourists and going into the true Portugal in the countryside.  He gives us a choice of being adventurous and taking the cover off so we can stand up or leave it on and Ben and I vote Carole down.  

After a quick stop at a local public washing place that cleverly harnesses the river on its way down hill to channel it through a covered area with manual ceramic wash boards we are soon off road and doing a bit of pairing around up a few nearly vertical inclines holding on to the bars and it is loads of fun.  After that initial flurry though we settle down to what is a great cultural insight into how people live and farm in the countryside.  Along the way we see many fruits, herbs etc being grown including oranges, lemons, pomegranates, carob, thyme, rosemary, sisel, corn, bamboo, olives, aloe Vera, acorns, figs and cork trees which is fascinating.  Portugal is renown for the best cork in the w old and produces over half of all cork.  It is essentially the bark of the trees and is stripped every 9 years with a painted number signifying the year it was last harvested so they will know when to take again.  The trees live for 200 years.  Contrary to our understanding that cork is a thing of the past for wine we are told that the best wine including French demands cork.

We stopped at a farm run by a lady called Maria, a friend of Tiagos and we tried a range of home distilled drinks ranging from a carob liqueur to a 48% alcohol that made your belly warm!  Maria's father had passed away recently and she was still quite emotional after fetching a photo of him to show us.

Anyway the safari was a lot of fun thanks to Tiago's sense of humour and a very interesting insite into Portuguese country life.

My Friend Miguel

After checking in we wander around the complex, check out the ocean vista and have a couple of Portugese Sagres beers during happy hour. Very drinkable. After tea I wander back to the bar to see if I can get them to put the Sp*rs West Ham quarter final on the tv. It's not being shown live in England and the bar shares its satellite service with another bar but the super friendly barman Miguel does some ringing around and managed to find it on a portugese satellite channel just before kick off. As I posted on Facebook not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing since I fully expect to get thrashed. The signs are not good as we beat them 3-0 at Sh*te Hart Lane and they have been smarting ever since eager to get revenge and they sacked their manager a few days ago which normally signals a rapid improvement as all players lift to impress.

The 1st half goes well as we initially soak up the pressure and press very effectively in defence denying them any real opportunity and then as the half goes on we start to have some of the play. Not dissimilar from the 3-0 win. So 0-0 at half time. All to play for.

I zip back to our apartment to give Carole a quick summary of the half since she has no Internet and lost the toss so had to stay back and put Ben to bed.

We were holding our own in the 2nd half and the game opens right up but then Spurs break down the left, cross and Adebayour smashes it home. Groan.

After some attacking subs we throw everything at them and with 10 minutes to go Jarvis scores a cracking equaliser. I yell really loud jump up and run around my table a bit. I look over and Miguel the barman is coming over to me shaking his hands in the air and I think I'm in trouble for being too boisterous but he just wants to high ten me! Lol. Yes.

We continue to throw the kitchen sink at them and with 5 mins of normal time left we score a header to send our away fans mad and me too. This time I go outside to yell and Miguel comes outside to hug me and dance around!

We gold on to 90 mins and I groan again as the official signals 5 mins to be added on. Fortunately we hold on and we're in the semis of the league cup.

What a night. I want to stay and celebrate but need to get back and tell Carole all about it.

And I thought Algarve was a worm in tequila bottles

Flew budget airline Ryan Air to Portugal. Paid £7 each to get priority boarding (seats are not allocated unless you pay a fee) and everything went well. Bit over two and a half hours and we were touching down at Faro aero porto. Then a 40 min transfer to our resort, the Alfagar in Albafeira which is on the south coast of Portugal facing towards Africa. Part of the Algarve region.

We are in a modern 2 bedroom apartment in the main complex with a balcony overlooking....an all weather football field. Lol. So despite having two footballs back in England we had to add a football to our shopping list. We could have stayed in the more traditional villas which are older but closer to the ocean but we are very happy with where we are. €360 for 8 nights which is about $70/night AUD. Well done Carole. Again.

Bair and Brekfairst Like

At John Lennon Airport in Liverpool on our way to Portugal for Christmas.

The scouse sure know how to charge.  £1 to weigh a suitcase.  £1.50 to charge a phone for 30 mins.

But at least you can get a bair with your brekfairst.

Exterminate!

Caught the bus out to Snugbury's Ice Creamery at Hurleston with Carole's auntie Eileen to see this years straw structure in the adjoining field.  Last year they had Bradley Wiggins the cyclist.  This year the voting was a landslide for something to commemorate Dr Who's 50th anniversary.  Just the metal framework for the Dalek took 700 hours and for the 1st time this year they had movement, sound and lights which were triggered by a motion sensor when you walked up to it.  Way cool.  I upload a few seconds of video of it here http://youtu.be/eTJj-ymOvwo .

For the record I had a triple scoop 'Dalick' of tropical coconut, strawberry and Pimm, and ginger and honey since a portion of the proceeds went to cancer research.

Afterwards we walked along the nearby canal where we got to see one of the canal boats going through the locks and Ben even helped to close one of the sluice gates.  Carole remarked that there was no way she would have the patience to go through all the locks.  I think Ben and I would have fun and you can moor at pubs along the way.  What's not to like.

This Trip's A-Z Beers List Starts Here

I bet The Ashes cask ale tasted sweeter for me than it did for the locals!

Crimes Against Football

Arrived safely in London on Friday and caught the underground from Heathrow which is as far west as the tube goes to London City Airport which is almost as far east as it goes.  79 min trip for £3 each.  Nice.

Stayed at a travel lodge for £50 incl buffet breakfast which while still cheap by Oz standards is much more than some of the £10-£15 deals we have had on other trips.

Saturday we were up early and off to the London Docklands Museum where we had booked Ben in to see Santa in his grotto in the sailor town section of the museum..very impressive with Edwardian cobbled streets and shops and elves with candles directing us.  Ben reads the blog so I won't discuss the whole belief issue but I'd say time is running out before moving in to the convenient going along with it phase.

From there it was off to E13 for our first game this trip, West Ham vs Sunderland.  Sunderland are last and deservedly so.  Unfortunately we are 4th from bottom and I can't mount any sort of rational argument that we should be higher.  A dreadful game between two dreadful teams officiated over by dreadful officials.  Andre (too posh for a w) Mariner had a shocker as ref.  I know we have a thousand injuries (only a mild exaggeration) but we were terrible.  Playing a lone striker up front (and I use the term striker generously, I was calling for his substitution all game including after we had used all 3 allowed subs) at home against the bottom team.  And the skills on display were terrible.  I actually commented to Carole that watching the game may be harmful to Ben's football development.  And I meant it.  Perhaps the only saving grace was that Ben's ticket was free and ours half price as part of our Academy memberships. Anyway the game ended 0-0 which was an apt result.  Least I don't have to say the score out loud which would probalby lead to Sam waxing on again about nil all being an Australian invention and how I should be saying nil nil.

After the game we started to head off to Oxford St to have a wander but Ben was so tired we changed plans and headed home.

Updated Note to Allan Joyce

Go on an Emirates flight.  Copy everything.  Sorted.

Dubai Airport Beats

Caption Contest

He's thinking something, but what is it?

Groundhog holiday begins

Arrived safely in Singapore where we are taking a night to break up the trip. Staying in Changi Village at the SAME hotel we stayed at 2 years ago although it has a different name now.

Tea at the SAME place we ate last time, the 89.7 cafe but the food is really nice again.

Next morning we do a bike ride along the waterfront AGAIN. I get in trouble for laughing when Ben falls into the bushes in a garden and completely disappears. How's that not funny I say!

But we chose all these things because we enjoyed them last time so why not :)

Note to Allan Joyce

If Qantas want to work out why passenger numbers are declining they could start with

1) making sure that when you specify a child's meal they have one for you.

2) the entertainment system works in every seat (Carole's headphones only worked in one ear and the whole system crashed an hour before we arrived in Singapore).

3) avoiding back to back flight delays due to catering issues and "technical difficulties"

Not major things but collectively it leaves an impression.

[whine mode off]

Our Itinerary

Wed 11 Dec - Depart Brisbane

Thu 12 Dec - Singapore

Fri 13 Dec - Singapore - London

Sat 14 Dec - Sunderland home ********

Sun 15 Dec - London - Crewe

Mon 16 Dec - Nantwich

Tue 17 Dec - Nantwich

Wed 18 Dec - Nantwich / Liverpool / Portugal (Algarve) (miss Spurs league cup game)

Thu 19 Dec - Portugal

Fri 20 Dec - Portugal

Sat 21 Dec - Portugal (miss Man United away)

Sun 22 Dec - Portugal

Mon 23 Dec - Portugal

Tue 24 Dec - Portugal

Wed 25 Dec - Portugal

Thu 26 Dec - Portugal - London (miss Arsenal)

Fri 27 Dec - London (Ben @ Fulham all day clinic)

Sat 28 Dec - West Brom home *******

Sun 29 Dec - London - Bolton

Mon 30 Dec - Bolton

Tue 31 Dec - Bolton - Nantwich, Pantomine

Wed 01 Jan - Nantwich London  (Train) Fulham away *******

Thu 02 Jan - London - Nantwich (Train)

Fri 03 Jan - Nantwich

Sat 04 Jan - Nantwich - Nottingham FA Cup vs Nott's Forest ******** 

Sun 05 Jan - Nottingham - London - Norway

Mon 06 Jan - Skiing Norway

Tue 07 Jan - Skiing Norway

Wed 08 Jan - Skiing Norway

Thu 09 Jan - Skiing Norway

Fri 10 Jan - Skiing Norway

Sat 11 Jan - Skiing Norway (miss Cardiff away)

Sun 12 Jan - Norway - London

Mon 13 Jan - London

Tue 14 Jan - London Tony flies home via KL

Wed 15 Jan - London

Thu 16 Jan - London Tony arrives home

Fri 17 Jan - London

Sat 18 Jan - Newcastle home (Look for Carole & Ben on TV!)

Sun 19 Jan - London - Nantwich

Mon 20 Jan - Scotland?

Tue 21 Jan - Scotland?

Wed 22 Jan - Scotland?

Thu 23 Jan - Scotland?

Fri 24 Jan - Scotland?

Sat 25 Jan - FA Cup 4th Round

Sun 26 Jan - London - KL

Mon 27 Jan - KL - Brisbane

That Was Not One Of My Better Landings

Our 4 nights in Singapore hit the spot with the right mix of Asia's hustle & bustle (thanks mainly to Chinatown) and some relaxation. Our flight home doesn't leave until 11.30pm so we paid half room rate for a late check out of 6pm ($120 so shows how good the Amex reward points were that paid for the 4 nights) and we head to Sentosa for the morning (photos in previous post). Great way to finish.

Back at the hotel we play suitcase equilibrium to try and get 3 x 23kg to check and 3 x 7kg to carry on (90kg total). To put that in perspective when we left England with the generous 30kg Emirates allowance our weights were something like 25, 23, 18 (66kg) & 8.8, 8.7, 7.7 (25.2kg) for a total of 91.2kg meaning we would have to lose a kg and spread it perfectly across the 6 pieces of luggage to keep Qantas happy. Factor in we bought stuff in Singapore and left England wearing winter clothes in a snow storm and we are flying out of Changi Airport in summer clothes. Just throw heavy stuff in the hand luggage I hear you say. Well that used to work but this year we have had our hand luggage weighed and certified with a tag at every check in. Emirates did turn a blind eye to us being over the 7kg (she wrote 7kg on each piece) but commented we might get weighed again at the gates! And one more example of how strict they are, Qantas made us take a jumper out of 1 suitcase and put it in another on the way out of Brisbane! And for those gasping that we were over limit leaving Brisbane, we went out with only 2 checked suitcases with the 3rd being my large backpack empty inside one of the others and 2 carry ons (3 but one was brand new and empty bought at the airport for Ben).

So we chucked out any non essentials and somehow managed to hit the jackpot aforementioned suitcase equilibrium.

The Singapore Brisbane leg is 2 x 5 hour flights with 3 hours in Perth. Given we leave near midnight Ben goes straight to sleep which is great. He's tired and a bit unwell. Perth flight is no dramas. However Brisbane is another story when it comes time to land. 90km/h winds and torrential rain. Jebus. The pilot is a bit of a comedian (well we hope he's joking) when he says I should be able to get it down but we circle a couple of times while he gets up the courage. As we are just about to touch down the plane rolls violently side to side to the point I can't believe one of the wings don't touch the runway. Touchdown is an almighty double jolt as the wheels make contact separately. The pilot comes on and apologises quipping that was definitely not one of my better landings but at least we made it down! We find out lots of other flights were diverted to Sydney.

Anyway we're home. Hopefully there were one or two people out there reading along and found it mildly interesting :)

Sentosa Island

Not bad from Ben's $100 camera. First was taken through a 6" slot in some scaffolding and is cropped. Second is 5 photos taken from the top of a wooden viewing tower and stitched together. I walked across the wooden suspension bridge you can see own the right side.

Sentosa Island is a 2 stop trip from Chinatown on the MTR and then you either catch the monorail or walk across a covered walkway with travellators.

After a walk along the beach and a ride on the free beachside tram we adjourned to a beachside bar (3rd photo) for Piña Coladas

No Fat Chicks

To be honest, Singapore was out least preferred Asian stop over location for the trip home. We wanted to give Ben some exposure to Asian culture now he is getting old enough to retain the experiences and Singapore is more clean and western than places like Hong Kong and Thailand. But the flight deals are just so much cheaper so we sell out.

We use credit card points to book a nice hotel in Chinatown (hypocritical after my Asian culture comments I guess but we also want some chill out time by the pool and to be a bit rested and relaxed before getting home). And the location is perfect just metres from the hustle and bustle.

And the blog title? Not a single overweight person herein Singapore (apart from the tourists lol!). It's just a play on words using the wording from a brogan bumper sticker, so chill out ladies.

Lamb Lover

The next morning we drive to Gatwick along the snowy motorways without incident and check into our Premier Inn that is literally across the road from the terminal we have to go to the next morning. There is a fire drill (not like the one five minutes before the football games finish "is there a fire drill" is sung as the losing teams stream out) and unfortunately we are on the 9th and top floor! We head over to the terminal to have tea rather than stand around in the icy wind.

Arrived safe n sound in Singapore after 2 x 6 hour flights with Emirates.

Good

- New airbus 380 for 2nd leg with heaps of spare seats to stretch out and sleep.
- They gave Ben birthday cake when they noticed his birthdate when I booked (although flight was week early).
- Carole & Ben loved the live camera feed as we flew into Singapore, lots of idyllic looking islands and interesting container ships in the harbour etc. I said guys it all here out the window!

Bad

- tired old 747 on Dubai leg and a wet patch on my seat that soaked into my jeans (hope it was spilt drink rather than the alternative!). They did give me exit row seat with nothing in front after I told them so got to stretch out my bad (and good) leg but politely declined my "any room in business class?"

Funny

- the exit row they moved me too was one row in front and I was in between two guys of sub continent appearance who demanded mini spirit bottles like there was no tomorrow (insert bad taste suicide bomber joke here). Thought they were trying to set some sort of Rod Marsh, David Boon record. Every time a stewardess walked past they wanted 2 each and were very abrupt about it. And the guy on the left, let's call him Lamb Lover, went ape shit when there was only chicken tikka left and no lamb medallions. No no no! I want Lamb. Sorry sir but it is all gone. No no no. Find me some lamb. Go and get the person in charge (I wanted to lean over and say I think he's busy in the cockpit but thought it best not to). They left him sit without a meal for about half an hour and everyone else was finished before the boss turned up and was very placatory (he needed a slap, not apologies) What can I do to make it better? He finally accepted the chicken (and here's where it gets really funny), just after he finished it, the original steward turned up and said he found a lamb, Solid gold!

The Hoops

Queens Park Rangers was one of those memorable teams from the 70's and early 80's that I remember watching on match of the day as a kid.  Have a soft spot for them for that reason but will happily wave them bye bye if it means we stay up!

They sit bottom of the league but are staging a come back under former West Ham player & wheeler dealer manager Harry Redknapp.  No love lost with Harry by the West Ham fans for a number of reasons too complicated to explain and Harry has gone from Our 'Arry to Bagpuss or Twitchy - Harry has a pronounced facial tick and there are choruses of "Twitch in a minute, he's gonna twitch in a minute".  Who'd be a manager hey?

I sent off a photo a few weeks ago of Ben and I for the program and thanks to a surprise killing email this morning, we know it got published in the QPR program.  We pick up a cop and wait for Ben to find it.  And wait.  And wait.  At half time we think he's sure to find it but its co cold he has gloves on and can't turn the pages that well and misses it.  And we wait.  At the pub for tea with Risky afterwards,  we wait.  I eventually say I love looking at the fans photos section and we wait while he actually reads out the names.  Carole and Risky have their cameras poised and....our meals arrive!  After tea I refocus him and finally he sees it and looks at us and then looks back at the program.  Hallelujah! After the long wait it's anti-climactic and a far cry from 2 or 3 years ago where he was going up to strangers on the tube and showing  them.  

The match itself was a thrill a minute affair but oh so frustrating!  We battered QPR like a blinking haddock but only get a point in a 1-1 draw.  A dozen corners.  21 shots.  70% possession but I swear it seemed like 80 or 90%. My mate Dave described it as a horrible match but there's obviously something lost in translation from our spot in the stands to his foxtel coverage as I reply to him on Facebook that it was an action packed cracking game.  

We deserved all 3 points but that's football for you.

There is a 50% off official merchandise sale in the club shop and despite saying I would never buy another jersey while they continued to use stick on sponsor labels and piping (because it peels off after a while) I simply can't walk past home and away strips for £22.50 or AUD$34 each.  Ben's was even cheaper £20 for jersey, shorts and socks and we had a £10 membership voucher.  We let him get Joe Cole on the back though Carole would rather he got Carlton but its his choice and Joey did score on the day he got it.  Joe Cole was also the cover picture on today's match program with Ben's photo inside and he was kind enough to sign it for us. Ben is in love with the jersey once he gets it and later on that night Ben he hangs it on his suit case and says "so Joe Cole 26 will be the first thing I see when I wake up.  Bless.

So that's the live football done and dusted for another year.  

Stats for this trip P7 W1 D3 L3 F6 A8 GD -2

WBA 0-0

READING 0-1

EVERTON 1-2

NORWICH 2-1

MAN UNITED 2-2

MANUNITED 0-1

QPR 1-1

Snow snow glorious snow!

So our time in Cumbria in the north yielded no real snow (though the fields on the way up were beautiful and white and we could have been mistaken for thinking we were driving in an Alpine country. But when we got back to Nantwich it was chucking it down and had been all morning. Trev was shovelling the drive. Last winter he said they found one car at the bottom of the drive after it iced up and slid down despite the hand brake being on! So I help him shovel. It's fluffy light so easy going. You have to get it before it freezes and becomes a nightmare to budge which I had first hand experience of myself in our Kent cottage last year. Dan and Jack take Ben down the park to build an igloo! After sweeping is done I wander down to help them. They are packing a plastic waste paper bin with snow to make bricks and I take that job over while they build and use fresh snow for mortar. 3 hours later (Ben is long gone) it gets dark and we have to abandon the igloo only half finished. Carole and Ben stopped by on their way back which is where the photo came from. I was too tired from making snow bricks to think about photos. Unfortunately when Dan and Jo go down after tea to check on the igloo and whether the bricks are freezing up well, it's been smashed :( . Maybe we needed a permit from the council lol.

In the morning we thank the Palmer's again for making us feel so welcome as always. We have seen less of them this year due to the way the West Ham fixtures fell but enjoy their company a lot. Stop by Carole's Auntie Eileen's to say goodbye and she loads us up with butties Nd snacks for thectrip to London. Have to be in London in time for 3pm kick off and it's a 3.5 hour trip in good weather but fortunately there are no traffic issues although the far right lane was sometimes out of commission due to the snow. Check into our Travel Lodge at East India Docks in Docklands and catch the DLR (light rail) to the ground just in time.

The Entertainment Factor

Comparing the 4 home games this trip, Everton, Norwich, Man United & QPR (1 win 2 draws 1 loss) with the 4 home games we went to last season, Barnsley, Notts Forest, Coventry, Millwall (4 wins) and there is no doubt this season's games have been more entertaining. By a country mile. And that's not just down to the opponents either. Last season was dire eke out a win boredom. This season it's been cracking..red card controversies, last minute heartbreak, bombarding the QPR goal.

Let's not talk about the away games too much. This trip 1 draw 2 losses. Last trip 1 draw 3 losses in a record season for away results.

The trip to Old Trafford was awesome though because of the constant singing and great banter.

What a difference 12 months makes

The first photo of each pair was taken on our previous trip 12 months ago. The 2nd photo of each pair was taken today.